5 years now. I saw first hand how the court system simply does not care about anything you have to say in regards to your parenting rights being taken from mom without any valid reason it is truly sad but Im hopeful things are gonna change. Keep fathers from fathers ans additional siblings is EVEN more wrong than not paying. Child support dont care about anyone they have no hearts they just want to be cruel to random people. Exactly, or even unequal time if that is what works better at time; u can always change up if needed. He cant comment on your position just as you shouldnt comment on his. If the mother works and makes $140k a year, then your annual child support obligation of $20,892 does not even come close to what she is contributing to the care of your kids if she is the custodial parent. Which means, even if the husband knows that the kid is not from him, he is bound to pay maintenance. I left I did not wake them. To be honest, she could have whatever she wants. The mother always used the child as a weapon prior to the legal matters being settled and now she doesnt have a leg to stand on. The SYSTEM IS BROKEN!! Absolutely . THE MONEY CAN BURN, it wont save anybody. She never got a job and was on welfare, food stamps, and got a medical card. If she doesnt, and he does, once again her decision. I still sit here penalized with restrictions, garnishments etc when Ive supported my son since before an order ever existed. Martin and Mandella were jailed for being right. Its a sad situation that there is no way they can grasp as 8 and 5 year olds, they arent adults able to understand it all yet. Ive always said and many women will disagree but if the father wants to give me money then so be it but if he doesnt o well. My wife has all these programs she has to do an they say she still has to go find work so there saying ahes not allowed to sleep cause she has appoinments everyday of the week an then her daughter on the weekends. Many continued blessings. DOWN WITH THE MEN is all I hear them saying anymore. We could split the cost of the 4 days or better yet split the time and make it an even 50/50. Should we be shocked that we are in the same position on the game board two years later? I live in texas, so the case worker says you can file an appeal but have to be in court !! Each dollar of child support collected by the state the state gets in federal grant money on a 1:1 basis. She was 34, and I was 16. You cant control him anyways. The system is almost similar to yours and has been working for over eight years. Under the current child support "guidelines" the following factors are RARELY considered by a judge when he or she sets a child support amount: The amount of time each parent has physical custody of the child. What the PC parent has to realize is when the parent-child relationship is destroyed to maintain the monopoly that is an actual legal way out of the monopoly. I filed for child support in 2015, but cancelled the case when he begged me to and we agreed that he would pay me $250/month (I have text messages to prove this). I am disgusted with our family court system, I am disgusted with women who play the system and take advantage of their childrens father, and I have a new understanding why for some fathers it is easier to wash their hands of the entire situation and walk away. Some of the tactics that states and local jurisdictions have employed to increase child support collection among low-income non-custodial dads include: Making child support payments more affordable. I pay what I can when I can but I wont be able to work at all if this happens and my girlfriend cant afford to support us both and shouldnt have to if the courts would follow the law and calculate the arrears and payments based on my actual adjusted gross income. Thats absolutely 100% correct , its just not worth it in this day and age . He played disappearing acts, staying away for two tho three days. READ all of 42 USC! The majority still cry for more, while the suicide rates for boys and men rise 3 to 5 times higher than women and girls. I have no time running in and out of offices and court rooms and arguing about what he should or should not be doing.. Child Support. So the guy will still have to pay!!!!! We do NOT talk at all. Kids were not home they must have been at a friends house. Tax offset is done based on the amount owed for ARREARS. This is not an excuse I have to work to pay my rent, and buy food plus child support plus the gas to pick up my son. We all parent together and have boundaries to ensure my son can love all his parents- my kid is almost 18. How is this fair to my niece and nephew or to my other two children one of which is special needs. Child Support laws are outdated and need to change. Just cause I make more I have to pay 70% of summer camp, after school care, and now she wants tutoring cause our child supposedly has adhd. Steevo, I am contemplating doing just that. I explained to them but they rudely told me that I had to pay to avoid getting a letter for court. Lets not forget you get behind and they take away your right to drive how do you get to work when they suspend your license too such a screwed system it takes 2 to make a kid and one to pay when they split up come on someone fix this issue. Now what I do. Yet the child support bill keeps racking up, I never want to leave my kids. An second if someones co worker ends up with the women you love are you going to remain at that job no you are going to asked to be moved to a different department which may impact what you make or you find a different job. An my wife owes only a couple of months so she owes $250 in child support an thats only cause i was takin out of work due to back injuries like spinal stenosis, degenerative discs an a pinch sciatic nerve in my left leg. He got her for child support and took full custody of the children said she was going to leave the state which is not true. Some how the lord works in mysterious ways, I have still been able to be there for kids, two jobs and steady plasma donation. Because uncle sam takes another 30% from my wages, I dont have the option to be involved in my childrens life as much as I would like. She told them due to all her disabilities she had to apply for ssi an they dont care they say she still has to work even though alot of professionals told her that she cant. This because I was left to die at the bottom of a set of stairs while they left stepping over my hemorhaging bodyI would have gladly given up that fight to survive and recover if had known I would never have my children near me again. and I foot the bill for everything else like rent, health insurance, utilities, school expenses, birthdays, holidays, cell phones, activities and all the other little extras. I dont get it. This is biological. Medical insurance, copays for doctors visits clothes, food, medicine (healthy food not fast food) entertainment and outside activities can be split by both parents. But by law she is still entitled to get child support (tax free) even though she has a very successful career. We gang up on each other, being content with whatever title the man has awarded, without holding him accountable. when BOTH parents want custody) mothers win full custody about 75% of the time. Im a little confused though, you married a guy that pays child support for 2 other kids? I say we dont separate fathers from mothers in this battle for new legislation and justice. Fast forward to today and I get a lien on my bank account I was counting on some money that we were given as donation to use it for bills and gas but they just took it all. Child support an child support court are all biaist. Often times child support is breaking the bond with fathers and their children because payments are so expensive that we fathers may not even have enough gas to visit. I sold my car and I walk with a back pack everywhere. Repeal child support and you would see a reduction in the number of divorces. Ive paid over 25% to the mother, who cheated, with held my children and who was the breadwinner of the household. SInce I was resposible and had a job I STILL was ordered to pay child support just because I had a job and she did not. NO detailed study has determined why the courts are making these such biased determinations, but its clearly cant have much to do with fathers vs mother characteristics, nor an objective assessment of whats best for the children, because there is virtually no strong evidence supporting female parenting over shared parenting. Just splitting the bills associated with the children. Even more so for those of us who would gladly assume the role of the custodial parent with no expectation of monetary support. Both man and woman decide to lay together equally. A woman can do anything a man can do, right? In my experience almost all divorced women claim to be abused. Billionaire William Buffett was asked recently, What is the MOST important to be successful in life? The National Parents Organization states, "Long ago and far away there was a land in which non-custodial fathers paid child support directly to the custodial motherIn the 1970s, child support collection, disbursement and accounting became a function of government instead." #childsupport #indigentfathers #americancorruptfamilylaw The problem is that 50/50 is not the default and men have to bankrupt themselves in the hope of obtaining custody of their own children! Long story short: she made us move with her, which became an issue between my sister and I with her. Even after i gave in to her demands she got the house,new car,property,kids,tax credit i got the 20k loan debt that i had to barrow to cover her Credit card spending spree and a fixed amount for child support,,no problemfine that was the deal my lawyer said sign it its the best you will get and its over for good. But now she is taking me to court for past amounts as she knows she can get money. Email me. We lived in Florida. The Federal Parent Locator Service uses a national database to track down noncustodial parents to enforce payments. However, while my husband didnt like it, he also knew that it was his choice to have children with this woman, and until they turned 18, he would have to just deal with how she did things. In Georgia, non-custodial parents who owe at least $5,000, have not made payments in the last six months and have not been located, are placed on the Georgia DHS's public list, with the hope that someone might see the list and can help track down the parent owing child support. Why not make her lose custody!? Same with trying to get better housing, so he wouldnt have to go to his sisters house every time he had his children. Apparently, he moves from one woman to the next living it up, drinking, partying, smoking weed and taking trips. I tried to be Nice, I begged my husband to please give his kids time, love and support. The ex filed a false claim stating six months arearage(thankfully I had canceled checks for all), and complianed It was not my choice to vilified I got an apology, but still. Payments can be made by cash, check, bank transfer, direct deposit, Venmo, or Zelle. Sounds like they both made a mistake equally and theyre both paying for it equally. Adding money into the mix just breeds anger and alienation. Holy crap, the excuses here for being a deadbeat. Sorry man. It is impossible for the father to have a decent life and have fun times with the kids and give them the things he would like to when he has to give 50% of his income to the mother. Judges dont get to know every case there are just to many and to them its only a job and they could care less if you are struggling due to an idoit you were once involved with,you are only a paycheck to judges and lawyers and they sure dont give a crap about the child. Look outside the little bubble of your life and understand that people that have less in life still have children and bad things happen to people. I sat and watched a judge laugh it up all buddy-buddy with 3 dads behind on support. Thanks you can email me at xrangr375(at)aol(dot)com. I grew up in this kind of situation and got to watch it from 3 different points of view of a child. My current husbands ex wife takes almost $1000 a month from us for 2 kids. Hes tried to run over my kids and myself more than once. You dont own them. Rent should be taken out of the equation,both parents need a place to live and see there children,to me this is the biggest flaw in child support,I had full custody of my daughter since 5 her mom paid me $150 a month thats it. Childrrn that grow up with constant dipport but no contact, develop issues in most situations. Taxman. He spent a lot of time with her and helped support her financially. if parents divorce they choose to go separate ways which mean they a equally responsible to maintain their separate households and utilities. The worst offender is Indiana, which charges 1-1/2 percent interest per month. That only means, to look in the mirror, if that characterization applies. Articles &CLE Legal Issues A.R.T. And to not disrespect him. So I went to school and got a job. Having children is. http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm, http://www.fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf, https://web.archive.org/web/20150219014614/http://answerisland.com/child-support-kickbacks.html, http://fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf. Make better choices and have respect for your childs mother. Feminists? My ex does not do this, and in the process I find out many things he is interested in. Go figure. Yes, he did say child support was a game plan for women and in his case that might be true. Do some research. If we are trying to be fair and equal. Thats whats wrong with parenting,there is always that one who feels they should have ALL THE SAY SO.. EVERYONE has to learn how to Co -parent. Ive moved my son back and forth to college (3 hrs away) and not one time has his father offered to move him or assist. Calling women who expect child support feminists is the most ignorant thing I see in these conversations. FREE BACKGROUND INFORMATION AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST. She lives in a drug and gang ravaged area in Covington Ky. The system here in Nebraska needs redone for certain situations. The arrearage was from a few years period back in the early 2000s that I was unemployed, as I was laid off from my aviation job after the 9/11 attack, when the airline industry went into a slump. Totally understand where youre coming from, my ex cheated on me married the man she cheated with and they live 12 hr apart, I worked in the oilfield got out to be home for my kids more and now they dont want to lower my child support I pay her over half my income and she works and lives with her parents with my kids, the system is so jacked up! Don't give up. It may seem weird but its actually calming compared to my husbands baby mama issues. two people same problem one child them to me it becomes a two people payment problem not just one side. The dept of revenue basically took her affidavit and never asked for proof of anything. You cannot very well care for your children from jail. 3. If some one has to pay 25k per month the mother or father (regardless of earnings) either has to allow the child to live with the wealthier parent, request less money thats within her budget, or match the amount. I tried to get food stamps so I could afford groceries, but I was denied because she has a food stamp case open. Dido mine cheated and my kids live with grandmother her mother while shes out partying and doing drugs Im in mass shes in florida and my kids tell me shes never their said she lives in a van her own mother cant stand her. Then see how many ask for money from the ex to support the children. Child support cases really arent handled on a case by case basis but some stupid formula that revolves around money. If your child's other parent is not making regular child support payments, you can call the Iowa Child Support Recovery Unit's Office for help at 1-888-229-9223. Then how much do you think your ex has to pay in additional food/rent/utilities/car/gas? His ex was on housing, having to list how much child support she was receiving. !) I just came back from war when all of this was going on not to mention I found out she cheated twice, once before our daughter was conceived and once 2 months after she was born. Everyone on this bored is complaining, and rightfully so. I agree 100% ive been dealing with this for years snd they recently quadrupled it! I still have two more years and last year I lost my employment and because I was out of work for 3 months it went up to 4K and now NYS child support is asking for double what I was paying every two weeks. KS sucksSupposedly we are a 50/50 state, but that is only if both parents agree. This system is so bad! The man I was living with lived a double life. Its design results in discrimination against fathers both in terms of custody and child support. So what can be done? He has never attended day care. This makes no sense? Though I do not get in his personal business, others tell me what hes up to. Child SUPPORT goes both ways. Keep in mind that the deadbeat dads are a minority. I got proof to the courts but they do not care. Financially it was a hardship, I could not pay my bills, moved back in with my mother, filed bankruptcy etc, while still attempting to correct this child support issue. So if your work schedule interferes, its okay to leave the kid at Moms until it works better for you, right? I did not read all of the comments but one think in terms article got my attention that is incorrect. I have always provided for my son always will. Also when the now ex wife gets the house hes not able to afford a new one due to child support being what a house payment is. She doesnt spend the CS on them and beyond paying her each month, I purchase the majority of clothes, their car, their extra curricular activities, pay for all their cell phones all because she refuses to. But the current laws assuming just because you made 25.00 and do not have that income anymore and make less should not be held against you. The children should solely be with mom for consistency and stability. As Johns Hopkins University sociologist Kathryn Edin explained to Graham, the traditional roles of mothers and fathers have changed dramatically since the 1970s, but the laws are still stuck in the past. I did some research, and found that my state measures child support compliance by the gross amount of child support collected, because it increases the federal reimbursements that the state receives under the Child Support Performance and Incentive Act (http://fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf). We decided to open a business because 30% of his check would go to child support. This is killing me cause Im thinking how could she do something like that since we havent been happy together for such a long time. Your money is good enough but youre not. Where is the child? In P.A. Im better, No, Im better. Even when the mom proves shes an unfit parent, family court doesnt care. What your mother is doing is illegal. My turn. You and him and me are all getting screwed. If I could afford to drive the extra couple hours to see my kids during the week I would but there is not enough time in a day or gas money in the bank to support this. This problem might be solved with an Attorney. Our child support attorneys at Pittsburgh Divorce & Family Law, LLC see incorrect and unfair child support arrangements all the time. . I totally agree! But I feel that it should be fair. Also EXPARTE YOUNG. But my days off not much to eat. My oldest daughter was diagnosed with Autism, FASD, and static encephalathy. There is also a time limit in which you have to file your claim. I have 2 other kids with my current wife. So please, someone tell me again how child support is unfair? 3. Dont they need support as well. I have had custody of her since she was born. Thats the whole point. I think it should be a different system set up for father that showed they want to be in their child life but low life mothers dont allow it. Lets do more to fight this injustice. But 800.00 a month and 1200.00 on a 3 paycheck month, come on thats crazy. I for once dont even bother in asking for money. Saying she owe her friend payments of 125 a week for watching my daughter. The money doesnt mean anything to me being a good father for my kids means the world to me. without any financial help. I have been paying child support for 16 years now always been there for my kids tried and tried to make a family life with their mother it didnt work like most but I pick them up every two weeks and once for a few hours during the week try to spend as much time with them as I can I also have two others and a step daughter so I have now but I love my kids they are my world but I have asthma real bad and it has gotten a lot worse to the point that I lost my job a year and a half ago so I havent been able to make support payments so I decided to sign up for disability didnt know what else to do so I called child support office told them what was going on they told me no problem just keep them informed and I thought ok sounds good about two months later I get served my my local sheriff I have a court case for my child support so I called the child support office they said it was a mistake and told me to just go it would be taken care of so I bring my letter from my attorney showing I am trying to get disability benefits well they didnt want to see it the prosecutor refused to look at it and when I told them what the child support office had told me about it mistakenly went threw I was pretty much called a liar and to shut my mouth so what other choice did I have I shut my mouth so when I went back for the second time I was very confused I had no idea what they wanted from me I asked for a lawyer before court proceedings because like I said I had no clue what I was doing and I was turned down immediately and then I was surprised when the judge ask for the paper of proof from my attorney showing I was currently signed up for disability I was speech less because it was the same paper I tried to show them the first time and they refused to except it and this time I didnt bring it I dont think they wanted it .